‘What Exit?’ and Jersey Toll Collector Road Rage

As published at Parcbench on 3 March 2010

While thumbing through my list of sites for show prep today, I came across an article on The Smoking Gun which immediately commanded my attention: Toll collector road rage.

New Jersey has been the butt-end of jokes since the days of Peter Stuyvesant and New Amsterdam. Whether it’s Jimmy Hoffa resting eternally in the end zone of the soon-to-be-razed Giants Stadium, MTV’s Jersey Shore or gay American ex-Governor Jim McGreevey, my state has provided a lifetime’s worth of material for comedians across the country.

With Jersey’s love for toll roads, my favorite wisecrack is when I tell people where I’m from is “Jersey? What exit?”. (18W off the Turnpike or 163 if you take the Parkway)

I’m not sure what drives toll collectors to the brink of anger and violence as described in a Smoking Gun article. A few years ago, I was feeling a tad sorry for the solitary collector. An electronic toll collection system, E-ZPass, was finally introduced in New Jersey and I felt it was just a matter of time before the humans were totally replaced by their digital counterparts. A dozen years later, there are more than a few sentinels left in the cold boxes taking tolls.

The Smoking Gun had a 30-page post of actual complaints, ranging from profanity-laden diatribes, money throwing incidents and a collector spitting on his hands before counting out change. One toll collector gave wrong change because he was distracted – he was on his cellphone ordering a pepperoni pizza. A woman who is a regular patron is the target of a collector who keeps hitting on her. Another patron was called a MF N-word because he gave the collector ten pennies as part of his $8.20 toll.

A collector allegedly went so far as to offer to flash a female patron to help her stay awake. Now that’s customer service!

But of all the woes and tawdry tales, this driver complaint tops them all:

“Patron claims that 2 weeks ago the collector took his wedding ring off his finger.”

What kind of change did this guy receive? HER wedding ring?!?

There is a site/book/magazine called Weird N.J. which chronicles all kinds of odd facts about the Garden State, but you don’t have to go so far as to read Weird N.J. to experience something bizarre first-hand.

My suggestion to anyone who travels the toll roads of New Jersey. Avoid the unpleasantries and get E-ZPass, After all, if E-ZPass was invented sooner, Sonny Corleone would be alive today!

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Jersey guy and E-ZPass customer Michael Fidanza is the managing editor at Parcbench and the host of The Armchair Energist Show which can be seen weekdays on Livestream.com and heard on RFC Radio.