F*** the Vote

As posted on Parcbench on 23 December 2009

Eva Amurri and Zach Gilford have a novel idea on how the youth of America can persuade people to support the monstrosity know as the healthcare bill: withhold sex. The young Deluded Duo appears on the RockTheVote.com website to appeal for governmental healthcare to pass.

In a cheap knock-off of the Hollyweird’s Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s “I Pledge” video, the pair lead a pledge never to “f***” anyone who is against healthcare. Wow, what a tradeoff! Vote yes, you get sex – vote no and get blown off, er, I mean you get the freeze out.

I think the sexual recipients are settling too easily. Mary Landrieu held out and got $300 million for her state of Louisiana. Ben Nelson held out and he got a $100 million per year Medicare bailout. And you’d sell your vote (like the ponytailed guy in the video) for a quick dalliance, you dumb ass?

Just over ten years ago, former Time reporter Nina Burleigh once said that she’d “be happy to give [President] Bill Clinton [oral sex] just to thank him for keeping abortion legal.” Obviously, Ms. Burleigh would renounce her feminist credentials just to engage in carnal pleasures with the President, knowing full well that Mr. Clinton couldn’t outlaw abortion if he could. Perhaps if she held out, the President might have hired her as White House Press Secretary.

As long as I am speaking of the press, you know that can’t count on Maureen Dowd on advancing your cause; she dismissed the necessity of men long ago.

The Spawn of Liberals are rearing their naïve heads. Ms. Amurri, the daughter of Susan Sarandon, proves that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We now have a new generation of misguided liberals that have no problem ceding personal rights and responsibility and depositing them into the hands of the government. Before making the video, Ms. Amurri should have checked with her mother on how the feds may be controlling her uterus in the future should this bill become law. There is no unalienable right to healthcare. It is a gift that humanity bestows upon itself.

I’m secretly awaiting a smarmy musical rebuttal by the RNC, like Britney Spears singing “If You Seek Healthcare”.

Eva and Zach, you have missed the bigger picture. By supporting the healthcare bill, you are consensually letting the government f*** you.

I could have told you that those smooth-talking Dems were going to spike your Kool Aid with a roofie.

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Michael Fidanza is the host of The Armchair Energist Show on RFC Radio and can be heard at 11am-noon ET. His website is www.ArmchairEnergist.com